My Mom

As I mentioned in yesterday's post, my mom died 2 years ago today. It seems like so much longer to me. It's funny how you look back on some things, like your baby growing up, and 2 years seem to fly by, but when you look back on that same amount of time without being able to see or talk to someone you love, it seems like forever. I am comforted in knowing that my mother was a devoted Christian who is now with her Lord and Saviour today and no longer suffering from all the illnesses that she had to endure here on this earth.

Her death still seems like a dream to me. Every moment, from sitting with her at the hospital to picking out flowers for her casket to singing "Amazing Grace" with my family surrounding her grave on the day of her funeral, it all still seems more like a dream than reality. Many questions go through your mind at a time like this. As a Christian, if you know that person accepted God's gift of salvation, you're comforted in the fact that they are now in a better place, but questions inevitably fill your mind. I've asked, why did God take her away from me so soon? But I've also asked, why did God allow her to stay for so long, when many lose their loved ones much earlier in life? I try to focus on questions like this last one, although trust me, there are moments, like when I think about my children growing up without knowing their grandmother, where I ask the first question. I wish she were still here to see them growing up, but then I remember when she was diagnosed with cancer for the first time, back when I was in college, and I prayed that she would just live long enough to see my wedding day and then to see my first baby. Well, she saw me get married and she was able to see Elaina's 4th birthday, so those prayers were answered and I'm so thankful for that. I'm sad that she wasn't able to see Zachary, but I believe that God allows His people to see the good that is happening in the lives of their loved ones still on earth, so I believe that she has been able to watch him grow, maybe even more than if she were still here with us.

On my wedding day - July 4, 1998:A couple of my favorite pictures of Elaina with her Grandma:
I'm not sure where I'm going with all of this, but one thing I do want to say to those who are reading this is to be thankful for the time that you have with your loved ones and don't take it for granted. I had over a year to say goodbye to my mother while she was sick, but some people don't get the chance to say goodbye at all. Spend as much time as you can with the people you love because you never know when the time may come when you won't have that chance again.

Mama, I miss you so much...but I know that I'll see you again some day!